Adapted from a message-board posting of mine:
My girlfriend has been extremely irritable for weeks now. It’s adding untold loads of frustration on to me.
<vent>
We got in a huge fight tonight after I apparently said something which she percieved as a personal attack (and which I didn’t even think could be interpreted that way). It was the third time tonight that has happened. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I’m usually very, very good about controlling my temper but this has been going on for too long already.
As an explanation, my girlfriend offers the facts that she is away from home for the holidays, and works long days on her feet at work. That’s all very nice and well, I think, but it still doesn’t grant her permission to get upset with me all the time.
Case in point, I spent the day with my mother cleaning out the new apartment my girlriend and I are moving into, and so I had unpacked her toiletries (toothbrush, tweezer, perfume, etc.) in the new apartment. I had also unpacked some of her laundry, some of which was currently in the wash. When she arrived home tonight, I went to the door to hug her. But she blew right past me, saying something about not wanting to be hugged, walked into the apartment and upon seeing the laundry out of the case, demanded to know what I had done with her things.
Turns out, I wasn’t supposed to unpack her stuff because she never asked me to, and the fact that I had induced a crying fit reminiscent of a funeral. In not so many words, I was blamed for ruining her day, and yet throughout this I still kept my cool.
But throughout the night I kept “doing things wrong” and finally I just couldn’t take it anymore. I told her I wanted to spend the night elsewhere (i.e. not with her), and that’s when she broke down and started apologizing. Which she always does. And I gave in and stayed. Which I always do.
Which I resent now because I’m up at 5 AM and can’t sleep.
</vent>
[...] shared. She wrote it on January 1st, 2005. The start of the new year was rough on us both; we fought q [...]
My Relationship’s Hind-insight » Ups and Downs and Everything Beyond
15 Feb 05 at 8:23 AM
Danica’s not stable? Being bipolar isn’t a licence for being rude.
blondzila
2 Jan 05 at 11:47 AM
Oh man. PLEASE remember to love yourself and your life. I know exactly what you’re going through.
Nick
2 Jan 05 at 12:03 PM
You “know exactly” what I’m going through? Maybe that should be telling me something. No offense, but I would have hoped never to get into a situation like the one you’re in. And for the record, if I find that I am, I won’t deal with it the same way you have. Especially because I don’t have to. I don’t have any external responsibilities like kids muddying up the waters.
Meitar
2 Jan 05 at 5:17 PM
Do you think it would do you two soem good to spend tome time apart? Just like a day or two? I dunno. It runs the chance of getting better or worse either way. Just a suggestions. *hugs* I’m worried about you babe.
Liz
3 Jan 05 at 12:27 AM
Oh Meitar, it is telling indeed. How angry you are at me, because you think that I don’t have to stay in my situation. I, for one, was actually talking about having to face YOUR behaviours in the past. It pains me to think that I had, as you claim, options, other than to stick with you, and love you unconditionally. No, Meitar, I did not have this option, because I chose not to, and the fact that you were there, at the time, “”muddying the waters” – was a reminder of the my choices, and the responsibility I had to wards those choices. Nothing will change that now, even your aparent criticism. I love you so much, I always had, and always will. Nothing will change that too.
nick
3 Jan 05 at 7:44 AM
I feel like I’ve walked into a very private discussion. Please excuse me while I excuse myself.
blondzila
4 Jan 05 at 8:35 PM