Ups and Downs and Everything In Between

The only bad thing about today is that it must end. All things considered, though, that’s awesome.

I woke up, finally, at around 3 PM. I’ve unfortunately given Sara whatever virus I’d had for the past week or so, so she called out sick. This turned out to be a very good thing. I don’t know how, but I woke up on the right side of the bed this morning. I was already happy, despite being woken up some hours before by construction noises outside our apartment building (which thankfully stopped not long before they started).

When we were both awake, I suggested that we explore the little diner on the corner of 181^st. We’d passed it up so many hundreds of times before for no real reason other than the fact it looked small and not that clean. But no matter. Today, we sat there for breakfast (yes, at 4 or 5 PM or so). I had French toast with sausage, and Sara had pancakes. It was…well, it’s hard to mess up French toast or pancakes or eggs, but the sausages were really good.

After that, our plan from the morning had been to walk through Fort Tryon park. Like I said, I don’t know how, but I must have woken up on the right side of the bed this morning. I can’t remember a time in the past when what I wanted to do was walk through a park. Today, however, that’s exactly what I wanted to do, so we stopped at home and I picked up my AppleScript book and Sara picked up one of hers, and our rollerblades, and we rollerbladed to Fort Tryon park. There we walked through Heather Garden to the Flagstaff overlooking the Hudson River and read for a while.

When I had had enough of the mosquitos feasting on me, we returned home. I felt like working (curiouser and curiouser) and actually managed to make incredible headway over the next five hours into a project for a client involving Movable Type, a system I’ve never before used and which is anything but intuitive (IMHO). In the mean time, Sara had gone out to dinner with a friend of hers.

Unwilling to let the day end, when Sara came back I ate dinner while watching Mean Girls with her, a surprisingly good movie. And that brings us to now.

Tomorrow I go back to work. I really don’t want to go. I want to spend my time learning AppleScript, unraveling and improving upon needlessly complex code for clients who will pay me, studying for additional computer certifications (I’m nearly through the entire Security+ prepatory courses), and enjoying Sara’s company.

At some point, I truly believe in my heart of hearts that this world’s foundation is just wrong. It certainly could be worse (and I am thankful that it’s not), but it just isn’t right yet. I have no suggestions or clearer picture of what a world that is right would be, but that’s just how I feel. It’s how I felt ever since I was a little boy. Those who’ve known me since then will understand.

So tomorrow I’ll go to work, but at every chance I get, at every moment I can, I will work to transform this world into what’s right for me. That’s my pledge to myself for as long as I should live here.

Had this not come right on the heels of my HP customer service debacle I probably wouldn’t of thought too much of it, but I can’t help but be struck by it today. It’s August 27^th, and my banking card is set to expire at the end of this month. I’ve been aware of this ever since I got my card because it has the expiration date printed right there in big numbers on the front of the card.

So last month, in the middle of July, I called my bank up and I asked them, “Since my banking card will expire at the end of August, how do I get a new one?”

And they very politely told me, “Don’t worry, we’ll send you a new one.”

“Great,” I said. “When will I get it?”

“Well,” the friendly bank representative told me, “We normally ship them a few weeks before the card expires. If I were you, I’d call back in August and ask again at that time.”

So everything seemed to be taken care of. I went about my July and when August rolled around, I called the bank again. It was August 10^th, and I spoke to someone I hadn’t spoken to before from my bank. I asked him the same questions as before and was told that it seemed my card was to be shipped to me tomorrow, the 11^th and that I’ll be getting the card in a week or two.

Now it’s the 27^th and I still don’t have my card. So I called my bank up again. “Hello,” I said in what I tried to make a pleasant tone of voice, “I’m calling because I was told twice before that I’d be recieving a replacement banking card for the one I currently have, which is going to expire in what’s become a mere 4 days. Where is the replacement?”

After asking for my name and information, the very friendly banking representative said, “That’s strange,” which made me roll my eyes in what, if she could only see me, she would have to perceive as the ultimate expression of the opposite of shock. “I don’t know why you were told we had shipped you a replacement card,” she began, “because I’m only showing a classic card being issued. Not shipped.”

“A classic card?” I ask, still trying to maintain that pleasant tone of voice.

“It’s a card you can only use at an ATM,” the friendly representative explains to me.

“Ah. That’s not going to work for me,” I tell her.

“No, I imagined not,” she replies, and without missing a beat continues, “so, um, le me see if…uhm, could you hold on for just a second, Sir?”

I oblige her (what else would I do?) and wait for a few minutes. The hold music plays. I’m actually impressed by the selection. It’s a jazz rendition that reminds me of some Thelonious Monk track I have in my iTunes library but can’t remember the name. Afterall, how many companies do you know would put jazz music on the line as they put customers on hold? Well, in case you don’t know what to answer or don’t feel like doing the research to find out, thanks to my recent experiences, I can tell you that very few departments of very few companies choose jazz as their hold music.

But I digress. The friendly banking representative finally returns some minuets later and, after thanking me for holding, tells me, “So, I do apologize because your card hasn’t been shipped yet so I’ve gone ahead and issued you a new card right now—it’s a Visa card because that’s what everyone’s moving to these days—and you should have it by the first because I’ve also shipped it by airbill.”

I thanked her very much for her efforts, but didn’t tell her that I’ll be calling back tomorrow anyway because I have no way, except for her friendly nature, of knowing for sure that she actually did anything that she said she did, especially considering the previous two friendly representatives I spoke to must either be confused, illiterate, vindictive, and/or completely incompetent at their job, which in these instances was to simply tell me what their banks records said.

Let this account stand with all the other multitudes of similar stories I’m sure are out there.

Back in the beginning of July my HP Pavillion ze4800us notebook, which I had owned for a little over a year and a half, begun experiecing very frequent Windows Stop errors. If it had not been that it was the second time in a mere few months that this problem surfaced, I probably wouldn’t have thought too much of it. As it had already had its hard drive replaced once before, however, I was sure something else was wrong with the computer.

So, not expecting much, I called HP’s technical support line which they euphemistically call “HP Total Care” and spoke to a tech support rep with such a heavy Indian accent I could barely understand him. He called himself “Gautam,” and, after listening to my trouble, was strangely eager to point out that something was indeed wrong with my notebook and that we could send it to get repaired for a flat-rate, “limited-time offer” of about 330 dollars.

This was the first thing I found very strange. Why would a tech support representative dismiss all troubleshooting questions and insist that in fact my computer which his company makes is broken? Regardless, we decided to move ahead with the repair, so he said he would be shipping me a box.

As a side note, I also asked him about the horrendously low (read, less than twenty minutes) of battery life my notebook was getting, and he told me I’d need a new battery. So I ordered one of those for 129 dollars separately.

The next day, when the shipping material arrived, I drafted up the following note to the technicians who would be working on the machine. I even added pictures. The note read:

HP Technicians, Please Read

I am writing this short memo to whomever may open this packaging in order to help ensure the receipt and understanding of my requests. I feel this action necessary and thank you for taking the time to read this notice.

My HP Pavillion ze4800us computer (enclosed) is being shipped to you for repair. As I described over the phone to an HP Total Care representative who called himself “Gautam,” my machine was repeatedly and frequently experiencing Windows XP stop errors such as the one shown at right. In the photo, a PAGE_FAULT_IN_NONPAGED_AREA stop error is shown, although this is just one of many of Windows’s stop errors which I was frequently experiencing. Additionally, and more worrisome, is the video distortion evident in the photograph.

As I also explained to “Gautam,” this is not the first time my HP Pavillion notebook had been experiencing such frequent errors. Months prior, a very similar situation arose and so, after some diagnosis, I replaced the internal hard drive with another one I had purchased. This seemed to abate the problem for a short while, however the issue has since returned and so I can obviously not accept that the hard drive is to blame this time. As such, and as instructed by the Hewlett-Packard Notebook Packaging and Return Instructions I received with my FedEx packing material that reads, and I quote: Remove any third party (non-HP) accessories that you installed yourself. Please remove all the parts, accessories, cables, etc. that either came in the box with your product, or that you installed yourself. The HP Repair Facility is structured to repair your notebook only. HP cannot guarantee the return of accessories (Such as internal drives, sound cards or keyboards) sent to us in error. (emphasis added), I have removed the replacement internal hard drive that I installed those months ago.

Please be prepared for this as you disassemble the computer. The four hard drive screws and the ATA connector cap is attached to the hard drive bracket with tape.

Additionally, because I fear the packaging material sent to me may provide insufficient protection to the notebook computer during shipping, I have included on this page three (3) photographs of the computer in the condition I am sending it to the repair facility in. Please notify me immediately should the machine arrive at your facility in any condition other than that shown.

Once again, thank you for taking the time to read this. I look forward to hearing your diagnosis of the computer shortly.

I then call FedEx and arrange to have the package picked up from my apartment. The FedEx representative I spoke with over the phone instructed me to leave the sealed and labelled box outside my apartment building’s front door so that the FedEx pickup agent could retrieve it. So that’s what I did. I taped the box up with my note to the HP technicians and my notebook inside, and the next morning I placed the package inside the unlocked double-doors of my apartment building.

Several weeks go by. I’m not worried yet because Guatam told me the repair could take anywhere between a week or two. In the mean time, I check up on the status of the repair on HP’s web site with the order number Guatam provided me with, but no information shows up. This, though concerning, is also not when I get worried because during my conversation with Gautam he told me the entire package would be insured and HP would take care of the value of the notebook should anything go wrong. (He also said I would not be charged for the repair if no hardware trouble was found in the notebook, but as we’ll see later, this point is moot.)

Another week goes by and I still see no updated information or hear anything from HP. So I decide to call them up again. This time I speak with another very obviously Indian man who calls himself Mike. I give him my order number and name and wait. Every few moments he thanks me for waiting and explains that he is looking up my case information.

Finally, he says he needs to transfer me somewhere else, and to please hold on for a minute. So I do. In fact, I hold on for more than 40 minutes (longer, really, since I only started keeping track when I looked at the clock). By this time, due to the fact that I actually have a life and can not spend it waiting for HP to pick up the phone, I need to go so I hang up. When I next have a 40-minute long “minute” to wait for HP, I call again. Once again, I give the rep my name and order number, I wait for him to “look up my information” and then he asks me to hold on, because he needs to transfer me.

So I do, only shortly thereafter he returns on the line and says that he needs to give me a new case number and that a Quality Case Manager will give me a call back. (I guess this means I wasn’t speaking to anyone with any quality since now.) He also tells me that he has contacted FedEx and a representative of theirs should be in touch with me as well. It turns out he has no record of my notebook ever arriving at an HP repair center. When I ask him what my recourse is if the notebook was lost, he aligns with Gautam, the first HP rep I spoke with and says, Not to worry, HP will take care of the value of the notebook. So that’s twice I’m told in Indian-accented English double-speak that my notebook is insured and HP will “take care of” it. (It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out where this is going.)

When I speak with the Quality Case Manager today, he very professionally (and without an Indian accent) gathers a lot of details about the situation, my name, the FedEx tracking number, the case ID, etc., and then, very slowly and carefully, tells me there’s nothing he can do because since FedEx doesn’t have a record of ever having picked up the package, and HP doesn’t have a record of ever having the notebook in their posession, it was probably stolen and the warranty or insurance don’t cover that.

My only recourse, he explains, is to fax him a police report indicating a stolen laptop so that he can flag it as stolen. When pressured about the fact that two of HP’s customer service reps told me point-blank that HP would take of the value of the notebook, he clarifies their statement by saying the package is insured for only 100 dollars and only if the package were already in transit, i.e., after pickup.

Now, I’m blessed with the unique understanding of this situation that comes from being employed in the customer service and technology worlds, so I am intimately familiar with the rules of policy. What truly frustrates me, however, is that I asked two separate HP customer service phone reps point-blank, “If no one can find the package, what will happen?” and each one told me the same thing: “HP would take care of the value of the notebook.” This, unfortunately, is a half-truth thanks to the loophole of having the package be stolen.

As an aside, the fact that I now have in my posession a $129 battery for a computer that I don’t have that I have to speak to the Quality Case Manager in order to get returned—probably because I’m outside of their normal return policy (and one wonders why)—is kind of like pouring salt on the wound.

So the conclusion I draw from this is that HP’s Indian customer service reps are liars who are probably trained to cleverly omit the whole truth when dealing with customers. That’s good to know the next time you think about purchasing an HP product.

For those not yet familiar with it, TED is an invitation-only annual conference of some of the brightest and most talented individuals in all fields of Technology, Entertainment, and Design. For the first time (in February 2006), the presentations were recorded and broadcast to the world once per week at the TED.com web site.

I’ve just spent the past three and a half hours at the site watching the presentations and I’ll have to blame them for making me sleepy at work tomorrow. Nevertheless, they are some of the most compelling and fascinating presentations I have ever seen in my life. I highly, highly recommend that you spend a few moments to check them out.

For those interested in Human-Computer Interface design, you absolutely must view Jeff Han’s talk on an “interface-less” touch-screen-like display which will very likely obsolete the traditional mouse and keyboard.

For those interested in global health and economics, you absolutely must view Hans Rosling’s talk on the myths of the third world.

And for those who just want more proof how much Apple Computer rocks our socks, you must view David Pogue’s excellent presentation on the woes caused by software frustration (and it’s partially set to music).

My personal favorite (so far) was Sir Ken Robinson’s almost stand-up comedy approach to explaining to us why the current state of the world’d public education systems will not serve us for our future.