I’ve been sick for the past few days with a really bad sore throat. I thought I was getting better, but this morning I woke up and started coughing up phlegm like a mother seagull feeding her chicks. (Yes, a lovely image, I know. Try going back to your breakfast now.)
Last night Danica and I fought again. I almost left to go sleep at my father’s or my mother’s, but Danica begged me not to so I stayed. It started when Danica read this (a page she has not yet finished and which I first asked her to read a couple of days ago):
No. Cheating is breaking the rules. If you aren’t breaking the rules of your relationship, you are not cheating, by definition.
The rules need not be explicit; even breaking the tacit rules of a relationship is cheating. If you do anything you cannot feel comfortable telling your mate about, or if you do anything which you know would make your mate unhappy if he or she knew about it, you are cheating, plain and simple.
Polyamory is a completely different way to define your relationship. Polyamory is an acknowledgment of the simple fact that relationships do not come in “one size fits all.” In a poly relationship–
It was the second sentence in the second paragraph that specifically started it. (
…or if you do anythin which you know would make your mate unhappy if he or she knew about it….) Danica didn’t agree with it, made her opinion known, and when I tried to explain why it was absolutely correct as far as I was concerned she acquired this…dismissive tone of voice that really, really made me angry.