Emptiness and Furniture

Behind my chair is where Danica's sofa used to be. This is why I feel the emptiness so badly. I need furniture.

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  • Originally uploaded by maymaym.
  • Added to the photostream on 12 Mar ’05, 5.32am PST.

In all my excitement over the various techy things I’ve been doing lately, personal blogging has waned and as a result several days have gone by without mentioning a single word about how I’m doing. Of course, that is a sign in and of itself that things are much better than they used to be and that my motivation to do work is returning. I have been following a few leads that will hopefully net me a project or two, and which will ideally be something small so I can ease back into the routines of work.

In the meantime, Danica has moved more of her things out of the apartment but has yet to completely transfer everything. Silverware, several pots and pans, a few cusions, some CDs, and various other odds and ends are still strewn about in the corner of my living room. I am eager for her to remove these items because then I can begin to think clearly about filling my apartment with the furniture I need.

In the corner across from her things is where the couch used to be. It’s vacant now and I’ve stacked a few of my things that don’t fit on my computer table on the floor there. Above them are my DVD shelves and to their right is an antique wooden unit which is holding my CDs.

The vast empty space has been somewhat difficult to deal with, emotionally. In order to cope, I’ve been spending the vast majority of my time online facing the wall with my back turned to the open space. This helps me forget about all that space, though it’s not a solution.

I don’t have nearly enough places to go out as I’d like to. Thankfully, the Bipolar Disorder Meetup Group is meeting this Monday and I’m looking forward to attending just for the opportunity to be social. I have not gone to the gym at all this week, which is bad and wrong and I hope that tomorow’s Squash game with my uncle will put me back in the mood for it.

Yesterday, I stayed up all night playing with PHP sessions and creating Maymay Media’s contact page which was a badly needed addition to the site that I can finally say is done. I went to sleep well after sunrise and didn’t wake up until 7:40 PM tonight. Then I got online, and Liz was gracious enough to break my script. (She discovered a design error in the processing page and I corrected it.)

I had been expecting Danica to come back sometime today since she did not have to be at work, but from the looks of things I don’t think she has been here at all today. I’m not sure how to go about filling my apartment with furniture, but I don’t even want to think about it until she removes all her things. Right now my priorities are simply to stay social, stay active, and stay happy.

I’m pissed at myself for having fucked up my schedule once again. I hope that waking up so late today won’t have disastrous consequences on the rest of my week.

I will do my best to stay productive throughout the night and keep my Squash game appointment tomorrow. I have yet to decide whether or not to go out clubbing Sunday night with someone who invited me to the monthly BYTE party in the East Village. I am inclined to go, if only to be out and say I did something, but I am apprehensive because it sounds a lot like just another dance club that I will surely hate.

Later this week, I have Jury Duty, and I am not looking forward to that at all. And y’know, this entry is rather mundane. For now, mundane is good. Now…where’s breakfast?

One reply on “Emptiness and Furniture”

  1. Meitar, you’re doin fine. And as to filling an apartment with
    furniture, you start with a great comfy couch and build from
    there. You’ll see how naturally everything wiil flow. Just enjoy
    one thing at a time and keep movin’. Michele

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