I have been feeling good for what seems like an abnormally long period of time. I still feel the mini-swings between lulls and bursts of activity, but dare I say that everyone experiences these things? Yes, I dare. Am I really approaching normal?
My father is understandably concerned. I am keeping a close eye on myself as well, and I’m doing my best not to let things swing too far in either direction. I’m also trying to do my best to maintain that balance between work, socializing, and personal time that I was so adamant about earlier.
The past couple of days have swung heavily in the social direction. I suspect this has more to do with the fact that, all of a sudden, most of my friends and acquaintances are actually of college age and, not surprisingly, are graduating college this year. (Just my luck, right?) They all feel it too; everyone seems to be in this bittersweet melancholy mood, bracing for change.
I’ve spent a lot of time with Sara lately, which, of course, meant profuse amounts of introspection and self-reflection and conversation about introspection and self-reflection. Sin City on Thursday night was a lot of fun, but more fun than the movie was the hand-holding and the various other forms of cuddling.
Sidenote: I’m actually rather impressed with myself about something that I’m almost ashamed to feel impressed about. It’s as if this is supposed to be such an obvious thing, something small and common-place and not special, but for me it is. Namely, the ease with which I’m simply accepting whatever the relationship between Sara and I is—and it’s not a traditional relationship, neither in terms of friendship nor in terms of romance (nor in terms of play partners).
The funny thing about the situation is that it just sort of fell into my lap. Even stranger, however, is the fact that despite this very topic being very evident and not at all a back-burner issue, I feel like I have nothing to say about it except for “Okay.” Acceptance. Happiness. I don’t fully understand it (and that scares me because it means I may be misinterpreting things) but for the time being that is neither here nor there.
Is that the feeling of polyamory?
End of the Year College Party
Friday afternoon and early evening sported more conversation between Sara and I over breakfast (which, for me, was a cobb salad that is probably still in her suite’s refridgerator). Later that night, starting from about ten o’clock, her suite hosted an end-of-the-year party. Several things struck me about that party.
- I knew way more people than I would have thought. Not just knew of them but was, sort of, actually friends with many of them. A surprisingly high number, actually. Of all the things going on for me right now, realizing that I’m actually social will be the hardest to get used to. Here’s a list of folks off the top of my head:
- Jeff was there, and—get this—I actually first met him back when Juliana had invited me to be a naked extra in The Naked Show several years ago. We really connected when I started talking about my old office/tech support job, since that’s what he’s currently escaping.
- Sara, Sarah, Sarah, and Sarah were all there. Yeah, that many Sarahs. One Sarah I had first met (extremely briefly) the night of Hamlet last week. Another was the one Sara and I took to see Sin City the day before. The other Sarah was one whom I had wanted to get to talk to for some time because she’s a new kind of techie I do not yet know well—I biomedical engineer, I think. Anyway, conversations with all four were nice.
- Tall German guy who apparently knew more about me than I did about him. The party last night got that sorted out (we talked and whatnot) so now I can actually say that I know a little about Oliver.
- Emily, another person who knew more about me than I did her. We joked about Judaism, parents (nothing too bad, Aba ve Ima), and alcohol. (Mental image: hyper Jewish girls. ‘Nuff said.)
- I also got approached by another fine young man whom I vaguely knew but had not really spoken to before. We conversed about CV, its future, and my suggestions for the organization.
- Melinda attended, and so did Al, whom I know because Melinda got me to attend the Columbia Philosophy Forum discussions. It was when Al walked in that I felt that familiar “It’s a small world” feeling.
- Parties are fun. Let me repeat that, and this time remember who’s blog you’re reading: parties are fun. Of course, I had a great time because I was with friends, but the point remains; I think I can finally relate to all those “normal” kids who really enjoyed partying. Sure, it wasn’t exactly my kind of party, but it was still fun.
- I’m an incredible lightweight and for many reasons (not least of which is safety) I don’t drink alcohol. Nevertheless, I downed a small bottle and a half of Woodchuck (which is evidently not a bird) and still actually had a good time. For the record, yes, thoughts such as “I’m buzzed; that means I need to be extra careful now” were front-and-center in my head.
Back to Work—Sort’a
Today I met with Jon about one of the side projects we’re working on together. I have a bunch of templates to design and build now, which is good because it gives the work aspect of my life something fun to latch on to and be excited about. I also exchanged emails with Dana about the NYCwireless web site, though I’m not as clear about what needs to happen on that project.
Also, yesterday I met with Cal (the man who emailed me after seeing me on 43 Things) and he spoke a lot about business, as well as several other things. He seems to be a really remarkable person and I readily admit that I’m pleasantly surprised by that. I’ll be looking into a suggestion of his, namely to get myself a “Doing Business As” form for Maymay Media.
Tonight, I’m headed down to a bar (a bar!) to meet with a friend (one of the Sarahs). Before that, however, I’m going to hop into the shower because after Squash today (my uncle and I played 7 games; I won 3 of them!) I desperately need it.