Super-brief reflections on the past few days, mostly centering around the fact that I want to get work done and haven’t been able to at all. It’s frustrating, it’s troubling, and I don’t really know what to do about it.
Several things that happened today left me feeling angry at Danica again. That’s okay, this is supposed to be a phase of grieving. I only hope she can move out soon so we can really begin to move away from each other.
Spending some time out of the house has been an incredible mood-lifter recently. I’ve spent the past two nights outside with others, first with a group of folks and then again with an individual. This has helped me deal with the rocky situation at home.
People frequently comment on how young I am. Ironically, I feel much older than most of the people who have remarked about my age.
After the past few grueling days, Danica and I are able to share insights into ourselves and our relationship over a typical makeshift dinner. I think this is one of the many reasons we loved (and love…) each other so much.
Valentine’s Day is ripe with opportunies for social commentary.
I spoke with my mother and brother yesterday. I finally managed to get sleep last night. Danica is beginning to accept the situation, and we’ve been keeping things light-hearted. Things are getting better.
I am determined to stay awake for the rest of the day, so I am able to greet Danica at the door when she returns from Randy’s after last night’s troublesome events.
Exhausted by hours of crying together with Danica, and worn down by her continuous begging to reconsider ending the relationship, the rest of the day is spent in unnecessary turmoil after we have sex. Most of this entry is taken from an email I sent out when I awoke in the middle of the night after she had gone.
After almost two days of being unable to sleep, I finally manage around 5 hours rest. Unfortunately, I awake in the middle of the night and find myself alone in the apartment. Expecting Danica to have arrived already, I find myself unable to relax again.